In a Funk

Bad DaysIt’s been a while since I posted which is a combination of being busy, and being in a bit of a funk.  I’m super frustrated with how difficult it is to get gear that works for me, the wetsuit that I have will kind of work but isn’t at all optimal since it’s a warm water wetsuit and not a tri suit meant for swimming – there is one triathlon wetsuit that we think might fit me, I ordered it to try it out but it’s been on backorder and may not be here for another month. As much as I love Clyde the mountain bike, getting a road bike that works for me has been an ongoing bikemare that is, fingers crossed, ending soon (blog to follow!)

A friend of mine who runs for fun said “I get such great stress reliefs from the couple of runs I do each week, all these workouts you’re doing must have you completely de-stressed.”  That would be nice, but it’s not my current reality. For me it’s feeling pretty stressful to be 5 months away from my IM 70.3 and still not have basic gear, or any time at all logged on a road bike.  My swimming is completely on track in the pool, and I’m scheduled for an open water class this weekend that will let me know where I am in the water.  My running never seems fast enough and part of it depends on how long it takes me to complete the bike (whether or not I’m able to ‘buy myself extra time for the run) and while i know that I can do a high cadence for a long time with no problems on a spin bike, I don’t know at all how that translates to actual cycling on the road so that’s a whole other thing.

As I whine to friends about this they very kindly remind me that I have time, and that even if I don’t finish the 70.3 I still have a year and a half until the full IM.  That is true, and I don’t fear failure, but I do hate failing, and I do want success.  I want to cross the finish line of this 70.3 and I still absolutely believe that I can do it.

So I’m acknowledging that this journey has its ups and downs physically and mentally, and I’m keeping my head down, completing my workouts, and trying to keep my focus on the stuff I can control, and stay positive (not like “I’m positive that I hate running” either, the real kind of positive!)


More Cool Stuff:

If you have questions about my IRONMAN journey  the FAQ might help!

If you’re looking for a place to talk about fitness from a weight neutral perspective, check out the Fit Fatties Forum. and the Fit Fatties Facebook page.

Book Me!  I’m a professional speaker and I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Buy my book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price!Click here for details

About danceswithfat

Hi, I’m Ragen Chastain. Speaker, Writer, Dancer, Choreographer, Marathoner, Soon to be IRONMAN, Activist, Fat Person.
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12 Responses to In a Funk

  1. Rose says:

    That really sucks that it’s so hard for you to get what you need. Sending lots of positive thoughts you way.


  2. tab says:

    What’s the deal with the road bike? I used a road bike for my first half and I still have it. My bike is 50 cm. Does that work for you? Maybe we can work something out ?


    • You are so kind, thank you very much. I have a bike frame that works -the problem has been making the rest of the set up work for my body. With any luck at all, this will be solved tomorrow. Fingers crossed!


  3. You can do it! Brilliant. I’m sorry you’ve been having problems, but they will work out. Keep on going 🙂


  4. lsstrout says:

    Wanted to applaud you for sticking to the journey you set out for yourself. I hope the end result is telling stories about how you triumphed over the problem wetsuit, the frustrating runs, and everything else. *HUGS*

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sending big hugs and echo the sentiments of applauding you for sticking with it. I have a sprint next month and I’m injured in both Achilles (so no running, which doesn’t help) and the lake is guaranteed to be icy cold because we’re racing a full month earlier than we should, due to the PanAm games being in July. Fun times. Didn’t say this to make it about me, only to say that I follow your journey with respect and admiration for your commitment and fortitude.


  6. Oscar says:

    I had no idea you were training for an Ironman! I completely missed the separate blog thing. I’ve been doing triathlons for about 5 years now (though 70.3 is the longest distance I’ve done) and I can heartily echo the equipment issues for fat people. I have, over time, found everything I need that works for me but it was a lot of trial and error (and money). I lovingly named my tri bike Frankenbike because I took the frame and basically replaced pretty much everything else on it with something different that fit better. Bit by bit Franky lost all his stock components and is now a great bike to ride.

    Anyway, good luck with training. If you’re ever interested, I’m happy to share any equipment or clothing recs I’ve found.


  7. Jon Niehof says:

    I hope your OW course went well. FWIW, I did my first (sprint) tri after only seven OW sessions, including swimming the course the day before the race. The skills transfer goes pretty well and it’s largely a matter of getting mentally comfortable. Your swim coach can probably hook you up with some pool drills for sighting and such.


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