Six Months To Go and Struggling

The last couple of weeks have been awesome in a lot of ways, but super rough for my IM journey.  Two weeks ago I had the honor to speak at the Multi-Service Eating Disorder National Conference and thanks to the hard work of the amazing Lisa Du Breuil (who helped connect me to the conference) and then helped connect me to the fabulous Mimi and the kickass Rachel Estapa from More to Love Yoga, I got to also give a brunch talk and a combination dance/yoga workshop.

That’s the good news.  The bad news is that the bikes in the gyms fitness center didn’t work for me, I was told that it wasn’t safe to walk/run on the trails after dark (which is when I was going to be on them,) I had the worst bout of insomnia in recent memory, and I missed a ton of workouts. (And I missed a bunch of blogs. Thanks to those of you would contacted me to make sure I was ok.  Extra love to anyone who e-mailed hoping that I had quit.  Extra extra love for those who e-mailed saying you hope I died, since you are obviously in dire need of extra love.)

Then I missed more workouts because I got sick when I got home which is how, on May 20th, with six months left to my IRONMAN, I found myself at my lowest point thus far on my journey.

Doing the talk made me realize how much I missed traveling and speaking. Missing a bunch of workouts reminded me how much I like not doing them, and it made me worry about my progress since I’m still not going far enough or fast enough and now I missed a bunch of workout.

Julianne has been the most amazing and supportive partner through this journey and she was extra amazing and supportive during this part of the journey.  She reminded me that I can quit if I want to, and that I can also keep going.

Of course that’s what I’m going to do.  I regrouped and did my long walk/run last night, I have six months to work hard and hopefully finish out this journey on November 20th with a shiny medal and a personal triumph not just physically, but mentally as well.

Selfie Sunday is a little different this week since I missed a ton of workouts and forgot to take selfies of some of the workouts that I did do.  So here is a random collection of selfies in no particular order, enjoy!

Like this blog?  Here’s more cool stuff!

Check out my sponsor!  More of Me to Love (a company that sells stuff – from practical to inspirational – for people who are fat and people of all sizes who are involved in Size Acceptance, Body Positivity, and Health at Every Size,) have always been super supportive of my work, and now they’ve created a group of awesome products, a portion of the profits from which will help fund my IRONMAN journey – you can check it out here (it’s worth it just to see the awesome fat triathlete logo they created!) Thanks MOMTL!

IRONMAN Sale:  I’m having an ongoing sale on my books,  DVDs and downloads to help pay for my IM – you get books and dance classes, I get spandex clothes and bike parts. Everybody wins! To check it out, you can go to No money?  No problem!  If you feel like it, you can leave a comment or send me an e-mail ( saying something encouraging, that’s incredibly helpful as well!

If you have questions about my IRONMAN journey  the FAQ might help!

If you’re looking for a place to talk about fitness from a weight neutral perspective, check out the Fit Fatties Forum. and the Fit Fatties Facebook page.

Book Me!  I’m a professional speaker and I’d love to speak to your organization. You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!


About Ragen Chastain

Hi, I’m Ragen Chastain. Speaker, Writer, Dancer, Choreographer, Marathoner, Soon to be Iron-distance triathlete, Activist, Fat Person.
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15 Responses to Six Months To Go and Struggling

  1. Melissa Chubbuck says:

    Cheering for you, I hope that a little rest will have done your body some good, even if it wasn’t great for morale.


    Sent from my iPhone >


  2. Rebecca B says:

    I just reread your motivation for doing this Ironman and it put a smile on my face. I’ve heard Mike Reily say to people “You are an Ironman” and I feel so happy for the people finishing (and those who start). You’ve got this!


  3. Amy Herskowitz says:

    Not that I wish you anything but smooth training and enjoyable, successful races, but it’s kinda consoling to hear that you’re human and you struggle just like the rest of us. I always wonder how you manage to do all the Things You Do and maintain your training schedule. Glad that Julianne is so awesome and supportive and I’m also glad you’re rediscovering the things you love about traveling and giving talks/workshops. I hope you heal quickly from this latest bout of illness and your training gains the momentum you enjoyed in March. Always cheering for you!!


  4. gsantollo says:

    You are crushing it keep at it the road to an ironman finish took me 9 years!


  5. Denny says:

    Having to take a day or two off is completely normal for all human beings…triathletes included!

    I can’t even imagine the mentality of someone who would take time out of thier day to sit down and type out emails like that. Perhaps that is why psychos who sit in front of a screen all day shouting “fat is bad!!!” are having thier message destroyed by people like Ragen who have actually done the research and have the guts to challenge convention. The good thing…those people aren’t invited to speak at conferences!


  6. Lara says:

    I’ve been away from the gym for nearly two weeks now due to highly unfunny infection drama (staph infection, face; super painful and taking forever to heal, 0/10, do not recommend for anyone ever even Donald Trump) and I hear you on many fronts: flailing on motivation and needing time to heal and having goals and needing support and all the things.

    People who emailed to be hateful… yeah, they must really be missing things in their lives, that I hope they can find and stop emailing hatefully. Gross, and also I don’t want to feel sorry for them because they are jerks, but I do. But anyway, go you. I hope you’re finding motivation and groove again and that your goals still make sense to you.


  7. lsstrout says:

    Pushing your boundaries in so many ways! Wishing you less illness and more speed.


  8. Cicci says:

    Glad you’re ok. I did wonder, but figured you were busy.

    I find that knowing I can quit, knowing there’s an out helps me a lot.


  9. DennyTriMoney says:

    LOL. The hate site is having another field day with your headphones. Here you go Sherlock Sleuth: Uhhhh they play music? So you don’t have to hear? So as to not be rude? Or perhaps you would prefer I jam my “Mefistofele” by Boito as loud as I possibly can on my Iphones speaker without any regard for you?


    • Hey Denny,

      I ended up blogging about this on my main blog after one of them proudly sent me an e-mail about the thread. (Why they would be proud to be discussing the headphones that a blogger they don’t like wears is a whole other thing…) It is just so whackadoodle that this person literally can’t grasp that some people like different headphones that they do, and took to the internet to try to work it out. Unless I’m trying to force them to wear the same headphones as me (which I’m not, since I CAN grasp that people like different headphones than I do,) I’m having a hard time understanding how this affects their life in any way.



  10. Joan Herr says:

    Don’t give up, everyone has a down moment or month or two. Keep trying. You have made allot of progress.


  11. Trabb's Boy says:

    Had to donate after this post. I’ve been following your journey, and you’ve been such an inspiration to me and so many other people. This is so whether if you carry on to the finish line or decide to hold a bike-burning and take up flower arranging or competitive hula-hooping or lounging on the couch and surfing the net as a hobby instead. You have proven your determination and guts and grace over and over again. I hope you continue, though because it is awesome watching you murder stereotypes and discrimination. All the best getting back into it, if that’s the route you’re going. They say surprising your muscles once in a while like that can be a real benefit, after the initial agony wears off!


    • Thanks for the support and the reminder that I can quit anytime, I’ve found that’s actually really important to remember. I can’t imagine burning Phyxius, but I may pass the time on my next run thinking about the joys of chucking it all and taking up flower arranging!



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