IronFat – Finding Myself in the Mirror

Hey everybody!

Fair warning, this is more of a feelings post than a workout post! I’ve had a rough couple of weeks.  My ankle isn’t getting better on the schedule I’d hoped (a schedule that my healthcare practitioners have repeatedly assured me was completely unrealistic.) I’m definitely still training but not at the duration or intensity that I want to be and I’ve been pretty down about it.

Today I just had enough, and I needed to do something that would make me feel happy and athletically competent.  A strength program is something that I’ve missed desperately since I started this IM journey. It’s been a constant in my life since early high school, I feel like being strong has been the underpinning of everything I’ve achieved athletically since I started sports as a little kid. I understand the philosophy that doing the workouts should give you the strength you need without building muscle that you don’t need, and we’ve done short stints with body weight based strength exercises which was fine but not the same as lifting. Even as I’ve been able to swim, bike, and run faster and at greater distances I’ve felt less and less strong.  Today without coach approval (sorry Coach Steve!) I decided to hit the weights.

I did a simple full body workout, nothing too heavy, but it felt amazing.  As I watched myself in the mirror I felt – cheesy though it may be – like I was seeing myself for the first time in a long time.  I have all these workout selfies from all these workouts, but it doesn’t feel like me exactly – run 20 miles? bike 50 miles? Complete a brick? After three years that’s still a me I’m getting used to, and after three years I’m better but I still don’t feel completely comfortable in any of these sports. But watching the weights move in the mirror?  That’s a me that’s familiar, a me who is athletically competent, a me I know and love.

I came home feeling better than I have in a while.

7.8.17 Strength

Leaving the gym happy!



About danceswithfat

Hi, I’m Ragen Chastain. Speaker, Writer, Dancer, Choreographer, Marathoner, Soon to be IRONMAN, Activist, Fat Person.
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3 Responses to IronFat – Finding Myself in the Mirror

  1. Denny says:

    Great post Ragen. No doubt you’ll cross the and become an IRONMAN. I got to stay with my daughter and her family in Lake Oswego for a few weeks while some work was being done on my block of rooms and it felt like me again too. I miss living in a real home so much, but I guess that’s just the way things work out I guess.


  2. Ziggy Blum says:

    Great post–a reminder that once in awhile it’s ok to take our eyes off the prize and take care of ourselves–and how great that you can do that so constructively!


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