Can We Talk About This Picture?

It’s been a long week and I was thrilled to only have to swim today.  I was about half way through when it happened again,  2 open lanes and a woman got in my lane with me. I’m not sure if she was doing rehab or just having fun – both of which would be fine except I was swimming laps and she was bouncing around in a pattern that I found impossible to predict.

I slid over to an open lane and finished my swim uneventfully.  When I was done and getting out she said “You didn’t have to move, you weren’t in my way.” She was quite a bit older than me and I wanted to be respectful so I just said “I figured since there was an open lane I’d give you a lane to yourself” and smiled. I went to the hot tub and she went back to bouncing around.

Which brings us to the picture we (I) really need to talk about.  I go to several different locations of my gym, but at this one, the following picture is on the wall next to the hot tub. The first time I saw it, I thought it was a little ridiculous, but now after spending tons of time stretching and relaxing in the hot tub and pondering the issues with it, I feel the need to talk about this to somebody and you, dear reader(s?) are it.

8.6.17 Bonus

Let’s talk about the team across the net.  The two people on the outside look like they could have possibly hit that ball (though why they would use a closed fist is beyond me.) The person in the center looks like they were photoshopped in from one of those jump for joy car commercials of my youth.  Also, if everyone is jumping – who set the ball?  I guess maybe it was a shanked pass from the other team and they all went up, or the setter is out of the shot, so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Now let’s talk about the team closest to us.  First of all, this is exactly how not to play volleyball.  If you go to a volleyball game, from junior high to the Olympics, you will at some point hear the coach yell “play your positions” or “don’t clump up on the ball” (clump up may have just been my coach’s term but you get the idea.) See, there is a big court and you want to get a pass, a set, and a spike each time the ball comes to your side and everyone lunging within two feet of the ball is not the way to get that done.

The person in the stripes to the left seems to be running and pointing at the ball.  If you feel that’s the greatest contribution you can make to a play, perhaps stay where you are. The person in the orange-ish shirt has not only taken their eye off the ball, but off the entire play, making them a threat to run into their own team members. The girl in the striped shirt on the right has her hands folded in a way that will seriously hurt if the ball hits them, but at least she seems engaged in the play. The girl in the green may actually make contact with the ball (and/or get a mouthful of sand) but it’s definitely going to hurt if she does, because they are playing with… a soccer ball.  Dude. Ok, thanks for sharing my pain on this.

All in all I’m proud of this week – I had a funeral (love you Grandma Lou!) a big family function, and food poisoning and I still completely all 11 workouts over 6 days (with one scheduled day off.)  Bring on next week!

 

 

 

About danceswithfat

Hi, I’m Ragen Chastain. Speaker, Writer, Dancer, Choreographer, Marathoner, Soon to be IRONMAN, Activist, Fat Person.
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3 Responses to Can We Talk About This Picture?

  1. Hilarious. I always wish marketers (movie directors, whomever) would talk to SOMEONE who knows what they’re doing prior to proceeding. I rock climb, and in photos and movies you see people doing stupid sh*t all the time – carrying ropes over their shoulders that they never use, wearing items on their harness for use while climbing with a rope, and then proceeding to climb without using a rope at all, you name it. It doesn’t seem like one convo with someone in-the-know would be that hard or time-consuming, instead of just winging it with “what looks cool.” Argh! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Denny says:

    I don’t understand volleyball.

    Like

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