Doing It My Way

I was a guest on Plus This! last night and I talked, (among other thing including the James Corden Mess and Weight Stigma Awareness Week,) about where I’m going with this IRONMAN journey. You can watch the show here! In the meantime, here are more details:

My neck is definitely getting better (I’m no longer waking up in pain every couple of hours at night, for example) but I’m still having both pain and pins and needles issues which isn’t great. I think that I’ll be able to start training again in a week , my PT is…less sure.

Based on the times I was turning in for my bike and run during my training before newest this bump in the road, it would have taken a REALLY good day, the kind of good day that would be a little miracle, for me to finish IRONMAN Arizona under the time cut-offs. Losing what will likely be almost a month of training to this neck injury means even a miracle probably wouldn’t get the job done.

Even if I had my best day in all three sports (not likely, since my times in actual triathlons have consistently been slower than my training times,) and also took some pretty extreme measures (at least, for me) including not changing clothes during transition (made more difficult because I can’t seem to get a tri kit in my size,) peeing while riding the bike (no, really – this is a thing that people actually do) and not taking my running tights off to pee so as to avoid wasting time in the port-a-potties (again, a thing that people really do,) not having any surprises in terms of weather, equipment etc., and having all of the environmental factors to in my favor (ie – either no wind or, even better, magical wind that was somehow always at my back) at this point it would still take not a little miracle, but a big ass miracle for me to finish IMAZ under the cutoff times and, as my triathlon journey has largely been…how do I say this…an unmitigated disaster to this point, it’s not looking good for a miracle.

So then the question becomes what to do. It’s not an unfamiliar question, since I’ve wrestled with it for four years running now (insert sigh here). As always, I want to be clear that this is just my journey and that other people who face the same decision (and there are many) can make different choices and there choices are also entirely valid. Only the person actually doing this is in a position to make the right choice for themselves.

The first option is just to go do the race and, at some point, get pulled off the course for missing a time cut-off.

My biggest concern with that is going slower than race pace on a fairly crowded looped course. In my other races I’ve always raced within the time limits (or lack thereof) and so people feeling like I was in the way, or too slow, or whatever was their problem, not mine. In this race there are specific time cut-offs and I don’t like the idea of being in someone else’s way or holding them up because I’m not riding or running at race pace. Choosing this option also means paying for travel/hotel/food and then putting myself through a ton of suffering before ultimately failing and getting hauled off the course for missing the cut-off. No medal, No Mike Reilly calling my name, just a ride back to pick up my stuff.

I could postpone and train for another year, but I’m already on year 5 of my 2-year plan and I have other things that I want to do in my life (like finding a sport that is done indoors with air conditioning in comfortable clothing that comes in my size.)

I could just quit. I’ve given it more than the old college try at this point and I don’t think there’s any shame in quitting. But, the thing is, I was planning to get a tattoo on my right inner forearm to commemorate finishing this, and when I look at my forearm it’s empty, which reminds me that I’ve put myself through all this training, I’ve pushed myself WAY out of every conceivable comfort zone, I would like to cross the finish line.

As I said on the show last night, this is not the IRONMAN organization’s fault. They have been incredibly kind to, and supportive of, me. And they make their cut-offs clear, so I knew what I was up against. I honestly just thought I would be faster by now. This is also not Coach Steve’s fault. He, too, has been incredibly kind and supportive of my roller coaster journey.

Having weighed the pros and cons, I decided to do something I’ve considered before as an option… Drumroll…

I’m going to stage my own race.

The First and Last Annual Long Beach Single-Athlete Iron-Distance Triathlon

I’m going to set up an extremely looped course with one giant aid station that my partner (the long-suffering Julianne) has agreed to person for the duration of the event. It will have my nutrition and hydration stuff, but will also have actual tasty drinks and snacks and friends, family, blog readers etc can come and hang out. We’re even looking into the possibility of live-streaming it so that people can be part of it from wherever they are.

As frustrated as I’m feeling about my neck issues, and my utter failure to complete an IRONMAN triathlon over the last five years, right now, I’m feeling equally excited to be taking control of this journey. There’s still plenty of work between now and my (now literally personal) finish line, but at least I’m feeling good about it.

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What’s next…

About danceswithfat

Hi, I’m Ragen Chastain. Speaker, Writer, Dancer, Choreographer, Marathoner, Soon to be IRONMAN, Activist, Fat Person.
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25 Responses to Doing It My Way

  1. JamieSBaker says:

    That is awesome! I am happy to provide the customized metal. You choose it, I’ll buy it. I’ve enjoyed following your journey and appreciate all that you do.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. nosnikrapzil says:

    Wow! Just WOW! That is an absolutely fantastic idea! As you say there would be no shame in quitting at all. But this is way better, especially if you can live stream it – that is the selfish bit of me, who would love to be there but can’t. You are awesome and inspiring and I am proud to know you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are brilliant and I’m excited for your solution!! ❤ Sending love and support from afar.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. grrlpup says:

    YES, totally endorse this solution. My wife and I did a self-supported marathon after realizing we wouldn’t be going race pace. We chose a course that made sense and got ‘er done. Looking back a few years later it’s one of my favorite marathons because all the motivation and energy came from us. I have NO feeling that it “doesn’t count” or whatever. Go you!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Rose says:

    That is a brilliant idea! Go you!
    Honestly, I bet you could make it into a bigger event for others to join in as well if you were interested in the extra coordination effort.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I love you so hard for this! What’s the date? If I can be there I will!

    Hugs, Deb

    Like

  7. Donna-Lee Tucker says:

    Sounds like a good plan. I have relatives who do Ironman Triathlons ( one super fit one had a heart attack and nearly died on the course) and I’ve never understood the motivation. But you set yourself a goal and your solo Ironman counts just as much as an official one. And you’ve worked way harder for it!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. billfabrey says:

    Good luck with staging your own race!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Heidi says:

    Oh goddess, yes! You don’t have to get up early (one of the main reasons I don’t do more races), can pick the time of year…awesome!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Faith says:

    Oh lady, that is such a cool plan! I have been following your journey these last five years and feeling ALL the feels and this feels SO SATISFYING!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Alana Skye says:

    GO RAGEN!!!! Consider me one of a multitude of virtual cheerleaders, you have come up with a wonderful plan.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. What a great idea! I wish I lived closer to be a cheerleader. So I will cheer from Florida! You are amazing and I love following your journey. I will chase the cutoffs and will be thinking of you while I am on my IM course. Please live stream it. I would love to be your virtual cheerleader as well!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Sarah says:

    I love this solution! I will cheer you on from Nova Scotia!

    Liked by 2 people

  14. lsstrout says:

    What a brilliant plan! And your neck can heal! AND I CAN SCREAM AT YOU IN ALL CAPS!

    *HUGS*

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Ziggy Blum says:

    I think you’ve got on an excellent compromise. Hearts to you!

    Like

  16. Moniqa Aylin says:

    What a cool idea! I’m super excited for you!

    Like

  17. Morgan says:

    I am so proud to know you. Your journey, as fat activist and a fat athlete, has been an inspiration to me for years, and this post is yet another reason why. I genuinely wish I could come out and support you on race day, but I think it’s not in the cards for me. But you, human, are awesome.

    Like

  18. OMG what a FABULOUS idea! I totally want to be one of the aid station volunteers. That is BRILLIANT. Will Mike Reilly be willing to call in your announcement as Ironman when you’re about to hit the finish line of the first and last Long Beach Single-Athlete Iron-Distance Triathlon? This needs to happen!!

    Like

    • Mike Reilly calling in the announcement would be amazing, though I’ll be an Iron-distance Triathlete and not and IRONMAN. Still, hearing him say You Are An Iron-Distance Triathlete would be pretty much everything!

      Like

  19. Ronda Wood says:

    Yes, what every
    one of your other fans have said! I am so happy and proud to know you.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. sassyzan says:

    I love this idea! It’s so great! I hope its streamed. I will be cheering for you!!

    Like

  21. Anita Garcia says:

    Gnome Endorsed!

    Like

  22. I want a live stream so I can cheer you on! I love that you’re making a decision that feels right for you. Your efforts are not wasted, and they’re not invalid. You’re wonderful!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. zoeforman says:

    What a fabulous idea – you taking control of your own DIY race
    Go and enjoy 😉
    Look forward to race report too

    Liked by 1 person

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